Group talk part 3: Mud

"Take off your shoes, you'll trek mud through the house!" A common phrase uttered by mothers and wives the world over. But why is mud seen as such a bad thing? From mud comes cement, a worthwhile creation as more than likely the place your are reading this has some form of cement, and hence mud, holding it up.

There is also the fact that mud can solidify and preserve things such as fossils. Fossils have helped us determine the age of life on Earth, the progress of evolution and of course providing further evidence against the "creation" of life myth. Clearly the world and all the universe was made by some mad old geezer with little else to do but play a large game of Sims.

Mud also gives us things like clay, ceramics and plaster not to mention the fact that some animals like pigs, elephants and hippos love the stuff. Mud is good for us too, it provides us with some simple bacteria to help our immune system to develop when we are young .

So finally, I must say that mud is a fantastic thing and the thought of it being forced out of the house like some sort of intruder into the home, seems a little harsh. Now I will leave you with the knowledge that next time I will be blogging on my contribution to these group blogs: the pub conversation, which these last few blogs might feel right at home in. Also I will leave you with the best use for mud: Female mud wrestling...

Group talk part 2: Shoes

SHOES!!!
Yep today it's all about shoes. Shoes are a funny thing really, few people wear them at all unless they are going out. They aren't very comfortable, they're expensive and they tend to stink (or at least mine do anyway). But for some reason some people, especially female people, seem to buy more than could possibly be needed. I have worn the same pair of shoes for nine years and have only recently needed to replace them. But some people see the need to buy new shoes for every outfit, wear them once and never again. Madness.

To me, shoes are more of a tool than an item of clothing, only really needed to prevent your feet from bleeding while out and about or to perform some sort of task such as kicking balls or arse. Since when did tools become fashion items. I can imagine models on the cat walk wearing hammers and screwdrivers and people saying "hmm I love it!" because some people are mad.

People are expected to take their shoes off in someones home, so surely these "tools" are more of an outdoor necessity than an actual item of clothing. It always bugs me when I have to buy shoes, mostly because I hate trying to find shoes that fit. Clothes tend to be either slightly too big or slightly too small with no side effects what so ever. But shoes must be near perfectly attuned to my feet or they just make my feet raw. I only ever wear shoes while walking or driving, at no other point in my life would I think that my life needs more shoes. So why do some people seem to need more shoes then I have pants? Next time it's all about mud, which sticks to your shoes, hmm I can see how these things might be related.

Group talk part 1: Underwear

So apparently we are supposed to be writing some blogs on random subjects which we picked out last night. First off I'm talking about underwear. Kieran decided that underwear would make a fine topic of discussion, presumably because he loves nothing more than admiring himself in nothing but them (sorry for the mental image).

Anyway pants, hmm, oh yeah I'm gonna call them pants from now on because it's easier to type and that is what I call them. Interesting that while alot of people call underwear pants, some people call trousers pants, must make for some awkward moments at parties. I wonder who decided it was time to invent pants? Clearly someone had the thought "hmm my trousers are getting rather stained on the inside, I need to get some rags to cover myself up so this doesn't happen." They aren't the most pleasant topic of discussion and most people rarely acknowledge their existence.

The major function of modern pants is simply to prevent staining, clearly when one shits themselves and is wearing pants they must think "oh darn I have soiled myself, good thing I am wearing pants or I might look rather foolish!" On an amusing note, pants can actually have religious significance for some people, apparently the vessel containing ones own...vessels is of great importance to God. "And on the 9th day he created pants so that the sacred waste produced by all of his children could be worshipped" or something like that.

Blashphemy aside I think that pants are a socialy amusing subject from skidmarks to "one pair lasting 5 days" Try and guess all 5! But they can also be erotic for some people, seeing a pair of knickers on the ground can make some men very excited "cor look at those, think of what they have been through, wouldn't mind a sniff of them" ewww.

Bra's are another story. A bra can be rather enticing for men usually because we want to take them off as quickly as possible, especially if we are the ones wearing them. The sight of thongs can be very sexy even if the idea dosen't apeal to both sexes (another mental image of Kieran...*shudder*)

Finally I will end my ramble with a couple of thoughts, first is that while pants are an "essential" part of life, talking about them is really slightly creepy. The second thought is more of a common occurence at my house in the last few years, Naked housemates on "pants runs" to get their y-fronts on the clothes horse, has nobody heard of boxers?